how to get over a breakup in 7 easy steps.

12 Jan

1. you have ONE day to mope. that doesn’t mean that after that one day you can’t be sad about it–it’s going to hurt for awhile. what that does mean is you have ONE day to be unapologetically, woefully, ice cream eatingly, mope-tastic. You have one day to curl up in your most comfy clothes and sob while watching cheesy love stories or my favorite: especially heinous crimes brought to you by Dick Wolfe and the cast of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. After that, it’s chin up, and move forward.

Image2. clean out your social media and cut ties. this one makes most sense if you know this relationship is completely dunzo and especially if you don’t see further communication happening. this is especially important if you’re not the initiator because you will certainly be tempted to reach out in some desperate plea for a change of heart or you’ll become consumed by urges to Facebook stalk. do yourself a favor and delete their number or change to something that reminds you of the real state of the relationship now. Continue reading


finding my fly: 6 weeks

4 Nov

Tomorrow I see my Physician’s Assistant who oversaw my surgery. This will be my first contact with someone on the surgical team outside of the nurse who checked my sutures at the 10 day point since surgery. 6 weeks ago at pretty much this exact moment I was waking up from anesthesia and today I’m pretty much pain free. Currently the only physical challenges I’m experiencing is that my core is weak, so sitting for long periods of time is difficult because nothing is supporting my spine. All 1376545_10101438814271685_1451975303_nof that should change soon though because hopefully tomorrow will result in me getting the green light to get back at it.

So what does that mean? It means I’m going to have to be patient with myself, it means that I’m going to have to take my time, love on myself and be smart about how/when I challenge my body.

I hope to spend the next couple months improving my core strength through pilates, yoga and physical therapy exercises as well as cardio (biking, elliptical, treadmill, etc.). Then I hope to add in more high intensity activities like weight lifting, jogging, etc.

I hope to be back to moves like the one on the right sooner than later. Too long pain dictated what I could and could not do. I’m ready to have control over my life again and forever.

finding my fly: two weeks

8 Oct

Two weeks ago at this very moment my night nurse was bringing me a piece of chocolate cake.  Continue reading

finding my fly: amazing things ahead

5 Oct

Yesterday afternoon after taking a little nap I was laying in bed thinking of all the amazing things I’m going to be able to do now that I’m free from the weight of this pain that held me hostage for 4 years. I decided I wanted to start to write them down. Keep a catalogue of my future fun and check them off as I accomplished them.


Some are them are as simple as “sit still COMFORTABLY” which I must share has been such an incredibly profound experience thus far and others are more obvious like “hike!” or “do as many push ups as possible.”

I tacked the poster to my bedroom wall (might move it to my ceiling) so that each morning when I wake up I know that I can have all these things in my life…in time. And though of course I wish I was 100% better right now but I’m also (as of this moment today lol) feeling peace in where I am at and respecting the process as best I can.

Also, as of this morning: I’M CANE FREE!!!!

finding my fly: setting the bar higher

4 Oct

Finishing off another day of healing filled with small successes and reaching the end of the day is an achievement in and of itself. Still struggling to fall asleep at a reasonable hour but managed to get my 30 minutes of walking in today along with success on a few tasks I had to chip away at and even went to class–even though I wasn’t prepared to take the assigned quiz today. As I’ve been laying here for the last two hours since getting home from class trying to force sleep I realize I’m missing physical contact at the moment. I realized that when my mom was here after my surgery I didn’t ask for nearly enough hugs, certainly some of that was situational considering my pain level and that the first two days she was here I was actually still in a hospital bed. But I also didn’t think I needed them apparently. But right now, could use a damn hug. Would gladly fall asleep to someone rubbing the back of my head…

Beyond missing comforting physical contact at the moment I’m honestly feeling really neglected by my friends here in Oakland. Continue reading

finding my fly: healing is hard work

2 Oct

When I started find your fly blog I was excited to share my version of the fly life–how to enjoy each day for what it is–be it through looking or feeling your best, cooking and tasting something delicious, trying something new. Life can be so fly and deliciously sweet. Life can also through you a curve ball and break your nose.  Continue reading

happy hour.

11 Sep
happy hour.

Cowboy boots

Marc Jacobs leather handbag
$770 –

Lucky brand jewelry

Lucky brand jewelry

Club Manhattan gold jewelry
$33 –

chic chick.

11 Sep
chic chick.

Blue pencil dress

Kurt Geiger pointy-toe pumps
$390 –

Raxevsky bracelet jewelry
$13 –

night out.

11 Sep
night out.

Zara blouse

French Connection legging

Fendi pointed-toe pumps
$660 –

Nomadic neon yellow purse
$110 –

sunday stroll.

11 Sep
sunday stroll.

Enza Costa sleeveless top
$97 –

Balmain stretch skinny jeans
$590 –